(my unedited first article as a student in LASU)
By Val Obienyem :
The inside was supremely hot, with the temperature well up to 37oc; People stood outside the windows, disrupting ventilation; any available space inside the hall was occupied by students either seated or standing – it was hellish. But we at LASU are familiar with such conditions. Occasional shouts of “Greatest LASUITE!” filled the air as different people passed their messages across. We were under this inclement condition last Tuesday at the Okonuga Hall as we waited for our lecture on Law of Contract.
As the waiting continued, students were occupied with various thoughts. I, for one, was reflecting on contracts and its cases. Momentarily, my thoughts were interrupted by the memory of our contract lecturer. Candidly, she is urbane, unassuming, prepossessing, and carries herself with dignity that befits a lecturer. She is tall and well-proportioned, adding to her grace. Then, my thoughts shifted to the visit of His Holiness, Pope John Paul II. Would General Sani Abacha release some political prisoners as the Vicar of Christ had requested?
These pleasant thoughts were soon interrupted by a friend of mine who dashed into the hall. Overjoyed to see me, he asked if I had read the “explosive, incisive, and brutally frank” article posted at the Law Faculty’s notice board. “Not yet,” I replied. He nearly commanded me to go and read what he called the “mother of all articles.” Much of what we later discussed has now become history, but what remains of interest is that I did eventually read the article.
The article, an appraisal of the writer’s one-year stay at LASU, bears the mark of an extrovert unloading his mind and a keen observer recording much of what met his eyes. It contains a fair share of vituperation, indictment, obloquy, barbs of ridicule, and perhaps some truth. Written in a caustic tone, it seemed as if the writer was addressing Sodom itself – perhaps worse things happen at LASU. Yet, the writer was equally generous in distributing praise where due, touching on all aspects of life at LASU, which can be narrowed down to academics and morality.
Are LASUites Academically Sound? According to the writer, they are. He points to their excellent performance in external examinations, particularly at Law School, as evidence. However, he reminds us that academic excellence is only half the story; the other half relates to morality.
Are LASUites Morally Sound? Here, the writer paints a grim picture. He vividly describes the “sexual looseness” he claims abounds at LASU, even going so far as to characterise certain individuals using letters of the alphabet. His writing suggests that LASUites are incredibly sexual, sometimes incapable of rising above the crudest obscenities. He alleges, though not with certainty, that some even cry when unable to satisfy their passions. Furthermore, he accuses them of being exploitative. While these allegations may have some basis, they lack surety, and personally, I cannot vouch for their authenticity.
Concluding his article, the writer attempted to soften his indictment by pouring rhapsodies on some of his alphabetically-named characters as the “light of LASU.” This clever move was most rewarding, making the article pass the test of objectivity. After all, LASUites are not all like Sodom; they have their own fair share of saints. One particular character, Mr. H, is described so magnanimously that the writer even recommends, “he be made a professor forthwith.”
Amidst the foregoing, the question remains: Should this article be taken at face value, and not diluted as hyperbole? Is the article brutally frank, or is it an overstatement? The fact that the writer chose to remain anonymous suggests either malice or caution, brutal honesty or outright lies. It may also suggest bravado or bravery. This debate continues.
Valentine, 200 Level Law
Nota Bene:
This article signifies the birth of this column. In the mind of the writer, it shall be maintained every week. Cheers!